PUH-PUH-PUH-PLEASE DON'T JUDGE ME!!!

oK, Ok, OK...i confess....i go to boarding school. I've been to boarding school since I was eleven...actually...please don't judge me because of it.
I went on an open day to Oxford, and this was the only thing on my mind when people asked me what school I go to. So I go to boarding school....why does that make people suddenly think I'm a stuck up, snobbish slut or something. I'm just like any other person here and I'm here to make friends and eat free lunch (...just as well as view the university grounds of course....oh, and listen to the lectures and stuff...) And that day had been a particularly horrid day for me, which is a story for another day, so I was really just looking for acceptance then.
Since I came to this country (oh gosh, I sound like such a tourist. I was BORN here actually, in London, and although I was bred in Nigeria, I came here like every year, so when I say came to this country, I mean started schooling here). Hmmm....too much digression...okay, when I started schooling in this country last year, it's been made quite clear to me that my school hasn't got the best of reputations around. Not only is it a private boarding independent school, its all girls. Yup. AllGirls. I'd never been to an all girls before though, so it's been quite an adventure, but all the same...
Anyway, because of the nature of my school, I have found that just naming the school gets me bad-ass-stares and eff-off-fingers, so...i started naming the town instead. There's other schools in the town of course. But these....these inquisitive Oxford wannabes couldn't settle for the town. "Oh really? Where in So-so-and-so town? What's the name of the school?" Their necks all crooned forward in wanting of my reply. I was taken aback. "The college, y'know" I bit my tongue and gum and lips. "I've heard there's two? Which one?" Oh eff-off, there you have it, I actually go to So-so-and-so. Now you can all just go on and judge me, yes, yes, slice me apart like a pineapple with your piercing glares of hatred (* and i hesitate to add, jealousy). Truth is, I went to a boarding school in Nigeria six years before coming here and I tell you that was hell of seeing the downsides of life (well, obviously depending on what school you go to), so as well as stepping into heaven, I have also stepped in torture. And no way am I a stuck up snobbish little lass.
People judge me for such stuff outside school, in school there's some other judging to do. It's like, "Hey, look at her, she's from Africa. How about asking her the name of her pet lion? How did she get here- by those ropes like in Tarzan, perhaps?" The answers are- there are huge airports in Nigeria and as much as I would have loved to, I've never seen a lion in blessed Nigeria. Guess why....because there's bleeding as many as are in the zoos or none! I've only been to zoos in Nigeria thrice, mainly because I'm not the greatest lover of zoos, and I can't recall seeing a lion. Someone actually asked me, when school first started, "When you're driving on the roads back home, do you, by any chance, see animals?" I look blankly back at her, "Er...no" She disagrees with me, "No....you do, you absolutely do." I think hard, it is my home, I'm the one there in the cars on the roads looking out the windows, "Well...sometimes you see birds in the sky...and if you're driving through villages (which is what you would call the country over here) you occasionally see chickens and goats." I reply.
No, she doesn't think so, "I mean animals like monkeys," she says. I reply, "Actually, that's a definite no." She still can't agree. She's smarter than me, this one. She knows where I live better than I do, daft idiot. "But my aunt and uncle live in South Africa and they see monkeys on the roads." she argues. That's clearly because, you freaking stupid cow, they were perhaps on safari in South Africa whereas I, I live in WEST Africa and in case you haven't checked, Africa is a BIG BIG continent, NOT A COUNTRY- A CONTINENT! And in my country, animals like elephants and lions are too much of a rarity for us to even have safaris. And guess what we've got that you haven't got, we've got the SUN, tons and tons of it. Plus, we don't even NEED it that much because we come NATURALLY TANNED :P
Another certain person in my school asked me "Foma, now that you've seen this country and all," (take note I saw this country before her as I was born here and I'm two months older than her), "where do you want to live when you grow up?" I'm like, "Nigeria. DEFINITELY Nigeria" She's all like "why?" I actually want to tell her, "Because there's no fools like you over there" but I refrain from doing so. I tell her its mainly because the luxuries we get in Nigeria, cooks, stewards, nannies, drivers, gate-men (the people who open the gates into your compound when you're driving or walking in- as a matter of fact we hardly ever walk), security guards, lovely airconditioners in almost every home for when its too hot, beaches all year round, our own celebrities plus international celebrities visiting regularly, our own movie industry, Nollywood, rated 3rd in the world after Hollywood and Bollywood......all these luxuries and more, are just too much. Plus, a 2003 survey classified it the happiest country in the world. I couldn't possibly choose elsewhere. She still couldn't understand. She's one of those people who think that the average home in Nigeria doesn't have at least one computer with internet connection and two televisions. I don't really count such things anymore.
Once I discussed this with a friend of mine and she was all like, "but so so and so percentage of people in Nigeria live on 1 pound a day". As a matter of fact, you ignorant fly, 1 pound is equivalent to 250 naira (Nigerian money) which can buy you three balanced meals at the price of 30 naira each from roadside stalls, and can buy you an outfit and shoes from New Market,. Let's just say everyone in Nigeria bought food and a full outfit every day of the bleeding year.
AAARGH! You know what, I absolutely hate people judging me because of my school, but next time someone tries to, I'll be forced to shout, "Don't Judge me!! I have friends at school- Judge them! Judge them! Obliterate them from the face of earth, in fact!"